There are some suicide news lately on the newspaper due to all those people were having depression. Some of them were having major depression I think. So, from here, we know that depression is an illness that could cause risk to our lives.
I would like to share my own experience of depression with you here. I was having depression in a few years back (after my father’s death). I did not realise that I was having such illness until I went to consult doctor.
Since my father’s death, there were many incidents happened to me. I was having sick easily, and been admitted to the hospital 3 times within a year, often having quarrels with my elder sister due to some family matters, and always worried about my mother (as she sudden lost of husband). I could not concentrate on my work during that time as I was having so many unhappy matters around me. I guess my work was very poor at that moment. Luckily I managed to have a close colleague whom I could talk to about my problems, and I know she could keep the secret for me. Well, after letting my problems out, it helped a little as I would not feel so stress.
But I was still having stress or tension whenever I was at home. This was due to I got to have quarrelled with my elder sister easily, even it was a small matter. When I saw my mother’s sad face and she was like ‘zombie’, I was really very worried about her. Thus, I felt I was having a major stress on my shoulder and moreover I was also unhappy for my work which I could not say about at home as I did not want to let my mother worried about me. I was really suffered very much. I started to lose my interest of watching TV. I am a person who likes to watch TV very much, but during that time; I was losing interest on watching TV. I was not even concentrated on the TV even I was watching though. At night, I was having insomnia, and thus I was having fatigue always. I even was sobbing by myself at night. However, I was yet to realise that I was having depression at that time.
I started to consult doctor when I got admitted into hospital due to the digestive problem. I was crying most of the time when I was in the hospital as I think I have lost my emotion at that time. I remember the staff nurse came to talk to me (just the both of us, without anyone else around) for few times. She tried to comfort me. So I also managed to tell her my problems/sadness which I was having at that time. Then I was advised to consult the psychiatrist specialist.
The psychiatrist specialist came to my ward for my first time consultation. He listened carefully with all my problems. He then told me that I was having depression due to the sudden loss of my father and work problem. Thus he given me some medicines which I could have enough sleep at night so that I could feel better. After taking the medicines, I could have better sleep and I was feeling much better. After having 4 followed-up consultations, I felt that I have changed. I did not feel sad or unhappy anymore, I felt more open or lively. Before that, I was always having the negative thoughts, but then I changed my thinking as not so negative anymore on my side. I guess the treatment did help me a lot.
Since then, whenever, I was having negative thoughts or the bad feelings of depression on me again, I try to talk to my friend as I want to let my problems out and do not keep inside by myself, otherwise I would be suffer very much. Sometimes my friend might be able to help me to solve the problems too. Moreover, I try to stay lively as to avoid feeling blues.
A piece of advice from me, if you are always feeling low, unhappy or you feel that your attitude or lifestyle is different from your old days, please talk to someone and let your problems out, otherwise you would be suffer on your own. If possible, please go to consult doctor. With the help of the doctor, you would be recovering soon.