Depression

Depression is defined as a state of low mood and aversion to activity that can affect a person's thoughts, behavior, feelings and physical well-being. It may include feelings of sadness, anxiety, emptiness, hopelessness, worthlessness, guilt, irritability, or restlessness. Depressed people may lose interest in activities that once were pleasurable, experience difficulty concentrating, remembering details, or making decisions, and may contemplate or attempt suicide. Insomnia, excessive sleeping, fatigue, loss of energy, or aches, pains or digestive problems that are resistant to treatment may be present. You may read out more about depression via here.

There are some suicide news lately on the newspaper due to all those people were having depression. Some of them were having major depression I think. So, from here, we know that depression is an illness that could cause risk to our lives.

I would like to share my own experience of depression with you here. I was having depression in a few years back (after my father’s death). I did not realise that I was having such illness until I went to consult doctor.

Since my father’s death, there were many incidents happened to me. I was having sick easily, and been admitted to the hospital 3 times within a year, often having quarrels with my elder sister due to some family matters, and always worried about my mother (as she sudden lost of husband). I could not concentrate on my work during that time as I was having so many unhappy matters around me. I guess my work was very poor at that moment. Luckily I managed to have a close colleague whom I could talk to about my problems, and I know she could keep the secret for me. Well, after letting my problems out, it helped a little as I would not feel so stress.

But I was still having stress or tension whenever I was at home. This was due to I got to have quarrelled with my elder sister easily, even it was a small matter. When I saw my mother’s sad face and she was like ‘zombie’, I was really very worried about her. Thus, I felt I was having a major stress on my shoulder and moreover I was also unhappy for my work which I could not say about at home as I did not want to let my mother worried about me. I was really suffered very much. I started to lose my interest of watching TV. I am a person who likes to watch TV very much, but during that time; I was losing interest on watching TV. I was not even concentrated on the TV even I was watching though. At night, I was having insomnia, and thus I was having fatigue always. I even was sobbing by myself at night. However, I was yet to realise that I was having depression at that time.

I started to consult doctor when I got admitted into hospital due to the digestive problem. I was crying most of the time when I was in the hospital as I think I have lost my emotion at that time. I remember the staff nurse came to talk to me (just the both of us, without anyone else around) for few times. She tried to comfort me. So I also managed to tell her my problems/sadness which I was having at that time. Then I was advised to consult the psychiatrist specialist.

The psychiatrist specialist came to my ward for my first time consultation. He listened carefully with all my problems. He then told me that I was having depression due to the sudden loss of my father and work problem. Thus he given me some medicines which I could have enough sleep at night so that I could feel better. After taking the medicines, I could have better sleep and I was feeling much better. After having 4 followed-up consultations, I felt that I have changed. I did not feel sad or unhappy anymore, I felt more open or lively. Before that, I was always having the negative thoughts, but then I changed my thinking as not so negative anymore on my side. I guess the treatment did help me a lot.

Since then, whenever, I was having negative thoughts or the bad feelings of depression on me again, I try to talk to my friend as I want to let my problems out and do not keep inside by myself, otherwise I would be suffer very much. Sometimes my friend might be able to help me to solve the problems too. Moreover, I try to stay lively as to avoid feeling blues.

A piece of advice from me, if you are always feeling low, unhappy or you feel that your attitude or lifestyle is different from your old days, please talk to someone and let your problems out, otherwise you would be suffer on your own. If possible, please go to consult doctor. With the help of the doctor, you would be recovering soon.

Happy Chap Goh Meh! 元宵节快乐!!!

Today is the 15th day of the Chinese New Year, it is the Lantern Festival or Yuan Xiao Jie (元宵节). In Malaysia, it is called Chap Goh Meh. It is also aka Chinese Valentine's Day!

It is called Yuan Xiao jie because xiao means "evening" and the whole phrase refers to the Lantern Festival, as it's called today. Yuan Xiao Jie dates back to the Han dynasty (206 B.C.-A.D. 220). Sima Qian (c. 145 or 135-B.C), author of Records of the Historian, considered it an important festival when he advised Emperor Wudi to revised the calendar and adopt the Tiachu calendar (used from 104 B.C. to A.D. 85). On the night o Yuan Xiao Jie there is an exhibition of lanterns that attracts many spectators. This custom at first had something to do with night curfew in ancient china. Since the Zhou Dynasty (11th century-256 B.C.), the common people had been to go outdoors or get together at nights. The curfew was not relaxed until the Han dynasty, when the rite of sacrifice to the Heavenly King took place throughout the night. This was probably the first time the curfew was lifted and the at people were allowed to come out to watch the lanterns.

It is a 1300-year-long tradition that for the Lantern Festival every family eat Yuanxiao(here it means a ball-like glutinous rice flour dough stuffed with sweet things). It is also known as fuyanzi (floating ball) because when boiled they float on the surface of the soup ( tangyuan) (balls in soup) or fengou (dough fruit). People eat it as a symbol of family reunion and a sweet life. Gradually people have come to call it just yuanxiao for short. At any rate, it is so tasty that everyone likes it. The ingredients of the stuffing are white sugar, brown sugar, color dressings, rose, bean paste, sesame, ashed walnuts, etc. The yuanxiao are prepared by boiling, steaming or frying. Today, before the festival, the shops in all the cities, towns and villages in China make plenty of yuanxiao for the celebrator.

In Malaysia, since it is also called the Chinese Valentine's Day, there is a celebration for it. It is also when young unmarried women gather to toss tangerines into the sea, in a hope that their future spouse will pick it up – a custom that originated in Penang, Malaysia. In the past, this was also the only day that unmarried ladies could be seen with their partners.

Anyway, since it is Chap Goh Meh, I am wishing all the Chinese Happy Chap Goh Meh/Lantern Festival and Happy Chinese Valentine's Day!!!

My Weekend!

Last weekend, my uncle and cousins came to visit my family and I together with their families. They all came on the same time, which was on the Saturday evening. Wow, my house was so lively as there were many children around and also many of us. We were chit-chatting with each others, and the children were playing computers games on their own. The children were my nieces and nephews. All of us were enjoying very much. We also taken some pictures since we did not meet each other for sometime.

Then on the next day, which was the Sunday, my mother and I went to the temple for praying. After the prayers ceremony, we went to visit my uncle and aunt (whom belong to my mother's side). Too bad that my aunt was not at at home, so we only managed to visit my uncle. We only stayed there for about an hour and then we headed home. This was due to I felt tired (as i just discharged from the hospital), my mother would not allowed me to stay outside for a long time. Thus, we returned home.

Well, this was how I spent my weekend. I was glad that I was abled to meet my relatives as I did not meet them for sometime as they were busy for their work in the weekdays. The only time we could have gathering was during the holidays! Anyway, i wish we could have more gatherings in next time!

Happy Valentine's Day!!!

Today is 14th February, it is the Valentine's Day. Many lovers/couples will celebrate this day. Some people would even get married on this day as it is a SPECIAL day.

In Japan, all the Japanese girl will give chocolate to their admirers on this day. After a month, if their admirers accept them, then they will give a gift back to the girl and then they would start for the relationship. However, this culture is not practice here. On this day, the boys will give flowers to their girlfriends, and the girlfriends will give a present to their loved one.

Anyway, since it's 14/2, I'm wishing everybody HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!! :)

It’s so GOOD to be at Home!!! :)

Yes, I’m home now. I have returned from the hospital in yesterday late afternoon.

I got up from bed at 9.30am this morning. I went to bed at 10.30pm last night and I was having a nice sleep for the night. This is due to there was no disturbance during my sleep, and it is so nice and comfortable to sleep on my own nice bed, with my pillows around. :P It is really very happy for me.

Well, after my brushed-up, I took my breakfast, which bought by my mother from the market this morning. I then reading newspaper. I am so glad that I can enjoy and relax myself in my home.

I was surfing net, watching TV or taking nap during my day time. I even eating the CNY cookies which I did not have it during my staying in the hospital.

It is the 8th day of the CNY, I believe tonight I would hear many fire crackers sounds as the Hokkien people will celebrate or having the Tien Kong ceremony. According to Hokkien people, the 9th day of the CNY is more grand than the 1st day of the CNY. Thus, I believe all the Hokkien people will enjoy this day very much!

Anyway, Gong Xi Fa Cai!!!

I AM GOING HOME TODAY, FINALLY!!! :)

Today is the 7^th day of the CNY, It is also the Ren Ri , 人日(pinyin : renri). It is also known as Man's Birthday. So, I’m wishing everyone Happy Birthday!

Yes, the doctor allowed me to go back home in this afternoon, after my last antibiotic treatment. Finally, I am going home after 2 weeks time staying in the hospital. Hooray!!! J

I was having a peacefully sleep for last night. I did not awake in the middle of the night as I think there was not much noise, thus, I could sleep well. Anyway, I got up from bed at 7.30am, did my brush-up and then took my breakfast at 8am. The staff had delivered the wrong order to me. I had ordered the bread with egg for my breakfast, but he delivered a fried meehoon for me. The food was spicy, so I did not take it. In fact, I was taken a cup noodle as my breakfast.

I had my 1^st session of the antibiotic treatment of the day at 8.30am. By 9.20am, the doctors came to see me and they allowed me to back home in this afternoon after I had my last session of the antibiotic treatment at 4pm. The Chest Specialist wants me to come back to the hospital for follow-up after 6 weeks time. The doctor advised me to take vaccination to prevent flu, and she wants me to take good care of my lung, otherwise I would get infections easily since there was scarring in my lung. After that, the doctors left.

I was then doing some newspapers reading. By 11.45am, the lunch was served. It was fish and chips, salad, 2 buns and a green apple. I just ate part of the fish as I think it was not fully-cooked, and I finished the buns and the chips. After meal, I was taking a rest.

By 3pm, I was having my last antibiotic treatment. The tea time was served with a piece of coconut kuih and a cup of Milo. I did not take it due to I did not feel like eating. After my last antibiotic treatment, the nurse helped me to take out the needle from my arm. While I was waiting my mother to settle the payment, I received a call from my friend. She found out about my matter through my blog, thus she called to ask about my condition. Our tele-conversation was taken about 5 minutes and she also advised me to wear mask whenever I go outside. Thus I think I’ll wear a mask then. By 4.20pm, everything had settled, so I left the hospital and headed home.

I was so glad that I could go back home then. In the meantime, I also would like to thank to the nurses and doctors while I was in the hospital as they treated me very friendly and well. Thank you!

My 13th day in the Hospital

I have been admitted in the hospital for 13 days already! Sigh! L

I got up from bed at 7.30am this morning as the nurses came to tidy my bed. I took my breakfast after my brushed-up. The breakfast was served with white bread, butter or strawberry jam, a boiled egg and a cup of Milo. I just took 3 pieces of bread with butter and the egg.

I was given my 1^st session of the antibiotic treatment at 9.10am. The nurse also came to check my BP and body temperature. The body temperature was 35.5C, no fever for me, good! J After my treatment, I was reading newspaper while waiting for the doctor to come to see me.

By 10am, the 2 doctors came to see me. They were asking how I am doing; I told them I felt good as no more fever. One of the doctors then listened to my chest and said it was clear. They told me I would continue my antibiotic treatment until tomorrow, and then they left then. The whole procedure of the examination and checking by the doctors to me was only taken about 5 minutes.

After that, I was continued reading my newspaper. The visitors of the next bedded patient came to visit her again. There were about 4 of them. They were not making much noise in this morning, I wondered if they had realized that they would disturb others by making noise. Moreover, they only stayed for a short time; I think they left after 30 minutes. Phew, the room was quiet again. J  

By 11.45am, the lunch was served. The food inclusive of a piece of grilled chicken, 2 buns, salad and melon. I finished the grilled chicken and a bun and I kept another bun for my tea time. OMG, the visitors of the next bedded patient had returned after the lunch time. Again, they were making noise. I guess I could not do anything to them and I just pulled the curtain to cover myself from them. They were staying for about an hour plus and then left. One of the young ladies from their group came to apologise to me for they were making noise. I then replied to her by saying that I would appreciate them to keep their voice down next time as it was really a kind of disturb to others. Of course I was telling her in a very polite way, and she had understood what I meant. So, she left. The room was back to quiet again! J

After my lunch, I was surfing net to read some news, read some blogs and MSN with my friend. I then stopped the surfing at 3pm and took my nap. The nurse came to check my BP and body temperature again. My temperature was 36C.

3.30pm was tea time and it was served with a bowl of bubur manis of red bean and a cup of Milo. As I do not like to eat the bubur manis, I did not take it. I ate the bun which I kept earlier and drank a few sips of the Milo to fill-up my stomach. I then started my nap. By 4pm, the nurse came to give me the 2^nd session of the antibiotic treatment of the day.

After that, there were 3 medical students came to my ward and asked me if they could examine me. Since I did not have the mood to ‘entertain’ them, I just informed them that I did not wish to be disturbed during my resting time. So they left eventually. Honestly speaking, I really did not want to repeat telling my medical condition to the people who were not related. So, sorry to the medical students.

I received a call from my cousin sister in the afternoon. She was asking how my condition was. So I briefed her about my current condition. She gave me an advice that I should wear a mask whenever I was outside next time, and then she told me to take good care of my health.  Our tele-conversation was lasted for about 5 minutes.

Anyway, I took my shower after my mother had arrived. I took my dinner then. Yes, the home-cooked food. So, I did not take the meal as provided by the hospital. After that, I took some rest again. The ward was very hot since the afternoon due to there was problem for the air-cond. According to the nurse, the whole building was having the air-cond problem. Gosh, I was wondering how I am going to sleep tonight with the hot room. I wish that the air-cond would be resumed ASAP.